[ alucard soaks in the tiniest moments of affection like a desperate kind of sponge, and being allowed to touch so gently, especially after a penance like this, is enough to make him feel seen, wanted. which is what he wants: attention, good or bad, but good attention trumps bad always.
when anderson speaks he stills utterly, listening, contemplating how he should respond. anderson offered him many things when he was addled, when he was desperate, and alucard had staid his hand in the face of it, unwilling to breach the uneasy trust they share even in the face of--all of that.
but this is different, isn't it? he's clear of mind, they're here, and he's right--here.
his hands smooth down anderson's sides until they rest at his waist, not careful but fond, and his lips graze skin again, still where it's not been marred in the least. it's lower though, just a little--the scent of blood fills him and he lets out a low whine despite himself, soft and almost keening as he noses against the skin. ]
If--you're sure.
[ he's never been this measured, this well-behaved, this restrained. but his voice is soft, questioning, confirming. just in case he needs to clear his mind a little before. perhaps he's being too cautious, but he likes what they have in quiet moments too much to give it up now. ]
[One of his hands finds Alucard's fingers and folds over them, his palm hot and a little slick. There's nothing quite like a flogging to get ones blood pumping and body hot- and a little sensitive, if the longer contact managing to elicit a shudder is anything to go by. Every touch feels a little like it's rasping over raw nerves, but it's pleasant despite its overwhelming nature.
He has to pause at Alucard's whine. So wanting, yet he holds himself back to ensure he has Anderson's full consent. It prompts a swell of affection, surprising in its potency, and he laughs softly at himself, shaking his head. Feeling such things for his nemesis- what an absurdity, but he doesn't try to fight it back.
As Anderson speaks, his thumb brushes over Alucard's knuckles, affectionate. His voice is still hoarse, but moderately less so now that he's recovered some control over his laboured breathing.]
Call me a fool, but I want you to. [He swallows, licks his lips.] Just mind the teeth.
[They're not quite at the point of biting, yet. But this is still a significant submission, for a man like Anderson. To voluntarily feed a vampire opposes everything he is, everything he's been taught. It's printed on every cell- but Alucard's overlapping that with something else; he's not quite sure what, and despite having every reason not to be, he's willing.]
[ even though his participation wasn't in any way tactile to himself the grasp of anderson's hand very nearly makes him shiver--he's overwhelmed easily by small things like this, any granted touch that isn't abject punishment.
the laugh surprises him, but perhaps it shouldn't: it's just as absurd for him to be so held back, to carefully navigate this mine field in order to get permission where if they were fighting he could just rip out his throat with no remorse. things are... different like this, here in this place, and there's really no turning away from that.
at the comment, he smiles. ]
You're a fool, Alexander Anderson.
[ but there's a fondness here too, an idle sort of tease, like he's poking fun that anderson said it at all--they both know they're both fools for acting like this. and so: ]
So am I.
[ he doesn't bite. his teeth don't clip, or scrape, but he mouths over where blood has spilled, smearing it messily before his tongue darts out to lap it up between his shoulder blades. it burns and he lets out a rough groan against the skin, eager for both the taste and the pain as his grip at the priest's waist tightens somewhat.
he's waited so long, wanting, aching, that surely it can't be held against him that a little shudder wracks him as he runs his tongue slowly across each of the places he'd marked so briefly, like he can trace the marks that are no longer there. ]
[The worst of fools, these two. Enemies destined for the battlefield, for death, for hell- and yet here they are, indulging in the others company, exchanging intimacy. You don't get much more foolish than this.
His breaths go stuttering out when Alucard's lips slide over the spill of his blood, and the introduction of Alucard's cool, slick tongue elicits an even strong reaction, prompts him to shiver and hunch over, the muscles shifting in his back. The welts are long gone now, but there's still a lingering heat, a whisper of what was once there. His body remembers even if his flesh appears unmarred.
He can feel his blood burning and bubbling in Alucard's mouth. There would probably be steam rising up from heat-reddened skin if he turned to look. But Alucard's little groans and shudder clearly indicates that he's enjoying this feature of his blood. He's not surprised; it's exactly what he expected. Alucard's ever the masochist.
The fact this isn't a normal position for them to take doesn't escape Andeson's notice. When they're intimate, he's always facing Alucard, always able to touch as he pleases and kiss where he wants and take control, but he can't do that, right now, and there's a certain vulnerability to it. A vulnerability he doesn't mind, because he knows Alucard won't abuse it.
The hand he has curled over Alucard's guides it further around, over his hip and toward his abdomen. An encouragement for further contact, since that's what he can manage.]
[ is there any other way to put it but foolish? things are destined to end, one way or the other, but that doesn't mean what exists in the interim can't be good. perhaps it shouldn't be, but familiarity and obsession and need have fed into this, and it is what it is now: two fools doing foolish things together.
it burns when he swallows too, scalding his throat all the way down, and he revels in that too. it would heal instantly, of course, if he wasn't still so busily lapping up whatever blood he can get to. so the pain lingers, which he likes well enough, and when anderson guides his hand he allows it, hand pressing flat to his stomach and fingers spreading as the pads of them press down. hungry for blood as ever, but doubly so hungry for touch: his arm shifts of its own accord then as he urges his body close, arm fully coiling around him as he hunches forward to clean off more of his skin.
he's well aware of their positioning, and has no intention of abuse, no. all he intends is closeness, and want, and to make this moment linger as long as he can make it. he's also cognizant that he's still fully clothed, which is less of a hindrance than one would expect, but really it just means he's sort of thinking about that in context with their situation.
only when he's cleaned off every bit of skin he can easily reach like this does he straighten, mouthing once again over his nape as his tongue and mouth and throat heal over--there's a scrape of teeth but it promises affection, not a bite. ]
[There's a ravenous from both of them, in regard to touch. Anderson't pickier about it, high-maintenance; Alucard's the opposite, but it remains a quality that helps even out their numerous incongruities.
He encourages Alucard's hand further up when it coils around him, drawing it over his abdominal muscles and across the slope of his pectorals, close enough to his mouth so he can brush his lips over the pads of Alucard's fingers. He applies a light bite to them- and a much harder one when Alucard mouths over the nape of his neck, teeth scraping. It's not meant as a deterrent; it's simply in response to a shock of arousal, and he soothes his tongue over the bite marks after as way of reassuring him he didn't do anything Anderson didn't want. Quite the opposite, as evidenced by the swelling of his cock.
His free hand reaches behind and coils into whatever he can grab hold of, whatever clothes he can twist about his fingers, and he uses that grip to draw Alucard that little bit closer, close any remaining space between them. It would be nice if he could feel Alucard's skin, but he's not going to complain; he's enjoying the slide of his tongue and graze of his teeth well enough. He's dazed and shivering under just that.
The only sound between them is that produced by their contact between their bodies and Anderson's heavy breaths. Which are pleasant sounds, but Anderson decides to interrupt with a murmur:]
[ it's good that one of them is picky about it, since alucard is desperate for it to the point that he can't help himself. it's better like this though, in these situations, and he's coming to learn that he doesn't have to accept it from anywhere. which is progress, somehow.
the touch of lips to his fingers, the bites after--he shivers slightly, and by the time anderson pulls him in there's no space left to close: he's pressed flush against his back, urged as close as he possibly can, one hand lifting to coil fingers in his hair and tips his head aside so that he can press his lips to the side of his neck, beneath his ear, teeth barely catching his earlobe before he sucks with purpose at his pulse point, for a mark that will never linger but be satisfying nonetheless.
when anderson speaks he chuckles, dropping his chin to his shoulder and letting out a low hum. ]
[His healing ability has never been a hindrance to him prior. Now, however... he can't deny that there might have been a little truth to his desire to see them both marked in some manner, in some irrevocable way. To dig down into Alucard somewhere no one else ever has, and no one else ever will again and leave a piece of himself there, and have Alucard do the same to him- but they have to content themselves with this, because this is all their bodies afford them.
When Alucard's chin drops to his shoulder, he twists himself as best he can without dislodging their position and leans his face into him.]
Good.
[He folds his arm over the one draped about his midsection, keeping it in place. There's an extended silence before he speaks again.]
I wouldn't be opposed to doing it again. I probably should.
[ alucard hates being marked. he hates his hands, the way his seals look carved into them--he can still feel the searing blade in his flesh when he looks at them, reeking of alchemy and magic. but--a mutual means of marking would have been something he could stomach, something done willingly and knowingly to one another and not forced on him. he could like the idea of it, of carving himself into anderson and having the same done to him. it would suit them, wouldn't it? but even if they were depowered to do it, they would just heal over anything when it all came back. much like his gut wound when he'd left the fort had immediately healed when he returned to the city, despite previously being feverish, weak, with a bone-deep infection draining the very human life out of him.
a pity.
when anderson's face comes closer he grins, nipping idly at his jaw before brushing his lips across the same spot.
he's quietly surprised when anderson expresses an interest in doing it again, and his fingers grip a little more tightly to his hair before relenting.
when he speaks, it's a low rumble. ]
You know where to find me.
[ a joke, since they live together now. on top of that, he's fully aware that anderson still has the rib. he's aware of where all his body parts are at any given time. ]
[Well, there's hope for Anderson: he retained injuries he received prior to the regenerator trials, but he obviously hasn't had the opportunity to test if that would be the case were he depowered. It's not something that going to occur to him anytime soon- but one day, perhaps, at least one of them will be marked, and Anderson will always have that bone.
Provided Alucard doesn't ask for it back. But he hasn't yet, so prospects are looking promising.
He hums in appreciation when Alucard touches teeth and lips to his jaw, and he maintains the sound through the grip in his hair.]
Unfortunately.
[It's mildly said. A joke of his own, since they've reached a point where such comments are appropriate.
He turns a little more, managing an awkward, sloppy kiss, but it's the thought that counts.]
We're going to need to discuss some of those terms and conditions I put into place, at some point. Perhaps not now, but...
[Right now, they're a little otherwise occupied. Though some of those things really should be discussed.]
[ alucard has no intention of asking for it back: though, in a manner not actually selfish if one considers the situation leading up to it, he'd like some kind of token in return. he's given anderson a solid, tangible piece of himself that he's not going to get back, and after all he's been through lately he feels it's only fair that he gets something similar back.
but he's not going to ask for it. he wants an offer, and maybe that part is selfish.
he snorts at the joke, but doesn't seem put out by it--and he leans into the kiss a bit, not minding that it's sloppy at all, and presses closer against his back.
he shifts, but just enough to urge him to turn around so that alucard can press against his chest instead, voice a low and content rumble, practically a purr when he speaks. ]
Soon. Unless you'd like to interrupt current activities.
[ he dips his head, dragging his lips across anderson's collarbone pointedly. ]
[Would anyone have the fortitude to interrupt current activities after that? Anderson thinks himself a strong man, but he still slackens under the touch of Alucard's lips.
One of his hands drifts up into Alucard's hair, encouraging him to maintain the current path of his mouth, while the other slides down between them to graze along the lower regions on Alucard's navel.]
Need I tell you?
[There's more certainty to his touch. He's gone a little further with someone recently, traversed some foreign ground, so he's overcome a few of his reservations about intimacy.]
I was intimate with a woman recently. [That's an odd thing to announce, but it does have a purpose.] By which I mean, I'm- better prepared, to go further, if you're not opposed. If this is the time for it. I don't mind postponing if it isn't. Not out of any desire to, but all things considered-
[Every added word just made that worse, didn't it. He's glad Alucard currently can't see the pained expression on his face.
[ that was precisely his aim, to be as purposely distracting as possible. he doesn't want to talk about the new, absurd clauses, not right now, not when they've only just smoothed things over. because he knows there's a chance he'll get frustrated again, and--he doesn't want that. he's in a good mood for the first time in days and he wants to cling to that, to bend to the open request that he continue by scraping his teeth along the jut of bone with a hum, hips barely canting toward anderson's touch.
he does pause when anderson continues and he can't help the white-hot surge of jealousy that skitters through him: he never can, no matter how small the intimacy, because he's selfish, and covetous, and wants it all for himself. but he's--still going, and alucard gets the point, and he'd probably have an ill-advised laugh at his expression if he wasn't too busy running his tongue slowly along his skin.
the last comment just confirms that he doesn't need to be angry, anyway, or at least not openly incensed. he finally lifts his head and instead of answering at first he kisses him: hard, hungry, wanting. he presses into it fervently a moment before drawing back, looking at him with lids lowered somewhat. ]
In retrospect, a bit of a cruel stipulation to have added, but if you get to be selfish then so do I. [ a wry smile. ] That said, I've been more than ready for any amount of going further that you're prepared for since you beheaded me the first time.
[ yeah he's been horny on main for you for like 30 years dude let's not play. ]
[Those are some very effective distractions. Anderson's pliable beneath them, loosening even further, muscles visibly unwinding and eyes lidding. It renders him nice and soft for when Alucard brings their mouths together. His hand absently curls further into Alucard's hair while he presses back with a similar vigour; less hard, but no less hungry.
Why does it have to be you is still a lingering sentiment, but it's not as strong a sentiment as it once was, and there's an accompanying one of I want it to be you. A rather complicated co-existence, but that's their relationship on the whole.
He licks Alucard's lips as he withdraws, taking a much needed breath as Alucard speaks. And my, that's- quite the confession, yet not unexpected at all.]
So you've been wanting to commit desecration of a priest since the day we met. [He snorts, biting Alucard's bottom lip briefly, as though to chasten him.] You're a dreadful man.
[Evidently that's not of great concern to Anderson, since his other hand joins the one at Alucard's navel and pops the button of his trousers so he can reach beneath. He inhales sharply at the touch of skin. It's not quite what he was anticipating.]
And still no underwear. Dreadful.
[Not sincere in the least, judging by the downward trajectory of his fingers.]
[ he likes anderson like this just as much as he likes him on the battlefield: they're different, naturally, but both pleasurable to him. in different ways, naturally, though his wont is to categorize all types of his hunger as one encompassing need.
it's funny: being that he's desired this for so long already, had desires, wants, he's far less conflicted about it. he is surprised that anything like this has even remotely come to pass, but he's not about to question or complain about it in the least. for once in his damned existence, he's getting what he wants, even if it's any sort of intimacy with a priest who's vowed to kill him.
his lips part slightly when his lips are licked but then he's speaking so the moment is lost--until anderson replies and he huffs out a laugh, pressing into the bite with a merry expression. ] I like to aim high, reach for the impossible.
[ he says it like he's being sly, but really, that's true: anderson was always untouchable, and integra still is. his two great obsessions.
his head tips down to watch what those hands are doing and he exhales needlessly as soon as his fingers find skin, and he bites the inside of his cheek when they delve lower. ]
What can I say? I'm easy. I started wearing some when I was anticipating being close to you, just in case, but we'll just say I didn't exactly anticipate that today.
[ god, it's parsed as a joke, but it's true. he is easy. however, realistically anderson is the only person he's outright pursued for this long, and certainly the only person he's been this patient for. even rip had let him sleep with her on his first day in the city, terrified of him as she was.
this slow burn is somehow that much more satisfying than her instantly rolling over for him, and he's unfamiliar with that feeling--but he likes it. ]
[Slow burn is inevitable when your partner happens to be a high-maintenance catholic priest deadset on killing you. Which isn't such a bad thing, evidently.
He has to snort at Alucard's comment. He's not exactly well-informed of Alucard's sex life (though now that they're sharing a residence, he may end up with more insight than he wants), but he's gathered from the stray comment that he's a predictably indulgent man. That's to be expected when you're over five hundred years old and starved for affection.]
The one time it's convenient for me.
I still- don't exactly know what I'm doing, just so you're aware, but I imagine the basic principles of touching a man and woman are similar.
[Okay, he's not entirely prepared, here, but what's important is he's overcome the hardest part: getting started.
His reach slows the closer he gets to Alucard's cock. Tentative, now, but steadfast. He pushes the trousers further out of the way, then carefully coils his fingers around the thick of Alucard's cock, glancing up to Alucard to make sure his progress is appreciated, isn't uncomfortable.
It's a little strange, the sensation of holding another man's arousal, particularly one so cool; it's not something he ever imagined he would be doing, but this contact alone manages to get him hot and bothered, so clearly this is going to be an agreeable experience.]
[ he'll do his best to be discreet, but--there's no promises to be had there, though perhaps predictably he often finds himself elsewhere when he's having liasions. while it is predictable, it is understandable: he soaks in attention and affection now, here, in the one place and the one way he can get it.
anderson is making explanations again and he almost sighs but just snorts fondly instead, nodding. ]
The fundamentals are the same, yes. Just pay attention to reactions and find what feels good.
[ he doesn't quite make a sound, not yet, but when anderson's fingers curl around his cock he noses into the side of his neck to hide his face, not from any kind of embarrassment but simply because he wants to mouth at his pulse point again, to mumble encouragingly against the skin. it's not even that he's exceptionally easy to please, more that he's easygoing sexually and--well, this is something he's wanted for a long time.
when he murmurs, it's low, just against his ear. ]
I used to think about this sometimes. With you. If I felt particularly indulgent that day.
[ he's not crystal clear on when, at least: before, at home, or here? it doesn't matter. ]
[Noisy roommates are what earphones were made for. He already has an app downloaded that provides sounds for one to fall asleep to, so he's all prepared on that front (you haven't slept well until you've fallen asleep to the sound of a rain forest- or a washing machine, and God knows why that one works so well on him, but it does).
Anderson's odd preferences aside, the presence of Alucard's mouth at his pulse-point and ear elicit an enthusiastic rumble.]
You thought about my hand in your trousers during our encounters?
[That's... fine. It's currently in his trousers, so he can't be that indignant about it, really.
Anyway: he responds to Alucard's encouragement with a slow stroke of his cock, more for exploratory purposes than pleasure, and drags his thumb over the rise of a vein, turning his head enough to observe Alucard's reaction. The man is a masochist and perhaps wouldn't be opposed to a little roughness, a little pain, but that's not what Anderson's seeking to inflict right now.]
[ probably for the best, though he's not going to judge the washing machine thing. alucard just sleeps like the dead, literally, when he drops: he can still hear every damn thing, and it's annoying, but he does what he has to in order to sleep. when he rarely needs it.
he smiles, wry, at the comment-- ]
I've thought of plenty of things, but I'm saving those for later.
[ he's starting to feel really overdressed, honestly, and his hands press to anderson's abdomen, fingertips pressing down, as he just barely runs his teeth over the beat of his pulse, pricking but not catching or biting. careful, for lack of a better term.
even that slow stroke, the idle swipe of his thumb, drags a low sound from him, a rumble of pleasure he lets out against his skin, half-muffled but still audible. while it's true he wouldn't mind pain, he's growing to like the gentle moments as well. the ones like this, easy and exploring. with someone else he might make a chiding remark about not being breakable, but this is--nice, in its own way. ]
Probably for the best. It'll be another three months before we progress beyond this.
[He's joking, mostly; it probably won't take another three. He's getting more comfortable with intimacy. It might be another month or two for- well, he's not sure, since he hasn't really thought about what comes after reciprocation of this kind, but he's loosening up as time moves on. It's hard to do with his vows, with his obligations to God, but he has to cede a little here and there simply to live in this place.
He hums appreciatively as Alucard applies some gentle touches.]
You know, this feels like an abject failure of my mission. [He strokes again, a little quicker this time, sliding his fingers over the leathery head of Alucard's cock to see how he'll respond to some light pressure there.] Well, I think that every time something of this nature happens, but it's always more prominent with you. For obvious reasons.
[Licking his lips, he leans his face into Alucard's shoulder, head tilted just enough to continue observing Alucard's reactions.]
It would probably be beneficial if I started thinking less. Very hard to do, though.
Like I've said before, I'm old and patient. What else do I have but time?
[ he's joking a little too, since really now that they've started doing anything at all their progress is slow, but relatively steady. with some bumps in the road like beheading and kidnap, but, well, it happens. it's true enough he's able to be patient, though in most cases he doesn't like it.
this is just prolonging the duration of dealings between them, and that's fine.
his nails scrape lazily along anderson's stomach, eyes lidded, but the continued attention and the escalation of it is enough to distract him and he lets out a quiet groan, tongue pressing hard to the same spot below his ear so he can focus on that, on his heartbeat, keep himself measured. ]
Naturally.
[ murmured, about what he says. he's not surprised in the least. ] It makes sense, and shameless as I am, I'm not sure what to suggest that might aid in lessening that. I'd say continued instances of intimacy, but that's both selfish and obvious.
[ with a little lazy grin. his hand glides up now, fingertips gliding over his pec, his collarbone, his throat. ]
Though it is of note that your only choice in the matter is who you do things with. Because if you don't at all, they'll--make you.
[ with a grimace. it's not a nice subject, but-- ]
Less a failure than making sure things don't get even worse.
The groan Alucard breathes into his ear makes Anderson swallow, makes his pulse pick up speed and his own cock swell in his trousers, so it really only helps keep one of them measured. Definitely part of the reason he keeps on coming back: things like that, reactions he wants to witness again and again. Greedily, selfishly, despite knowing better.
The glide of Alucard's fingers makes his breaths come fast and unsteady. It takes him a moment to find the will to speak again.]
After the... centre, I'm well aware of that, but they aren't making me do this; be intimate with you, of all people, hence the feeling of failure being particularly prominent. I had a choice, and I chose this.
[You, but he doesn't say that.
Two strokes this time, from top to bottom, tightening his grip each time he reaches the tip, since he's aware that area is particularly sensitive. He probably should have applied lubrication of some kind to enhance pleasure, but he doesn't exactly keep that sort of thing on hand.]
You're ruining a perfectly good priest without their help.
he's leaning into anderson heavily, for a time selfishly concentrating only on anderson's touch, but when he can hear the way his pulse quickens a lazy smile spreads and he slips both hands down now, to work at the priest's belt, deftly undo his trousers, and slip a hand inside. it's easy, and practiced, but he does little other than curl fingers around the base of his cock for now, testing his reactions.
it's not teasing, or goading, and he does listen to what anderson has to say, licking his lips before he nods minutely. he knows. ]
I know. We're tied together though, us. I don't think there's any escape for either of us even if we wanted it.
[ his voice is low and this time his thoughts are interrupted with a breathy moan.
then his newly-freed hand lifts and he grips anderson's chin, kissing him slowly, languidly, but no less wanting. there's absolutely no tease in it: it's practically fervent in its intensity. when he pulls back he looks at him, eyes dark. ]
I did tell you I've wanted you since we met. You're mine, and I'm not going to apologize for that.
[The fingers that work deftly at his belt buckle are a surprise. He doesn't try to shake them off, though, even if they make it difficult to fully concentrate on the task (literally) at hand. He cants his hips to accommodate the journey of Alucard's hand instead, biting down on the tip of his tongue when Alucard curls those long, practised fingers around his cock. Which he'll find is already half-hard despite an absence of contact.]
Trying to get me to stop talking, Alucard?
[He's not actually sure. But he laughs all the same, which ends abruptly as Alucard presses a kiss to his mouth. He's quick to press back, a ragged groan slipping past his lips and into Alucard's; no teeth this time, since it's something soft and languid. Just a wanting, mutual press until Alucard draws back, at which point Anderson realises he'd closed his eyes and peels them back open.
He likes what Alucard says far too much. But-]
If you're going to say that, it should be followed by 'and I'm yours'. [He draws his hand up Alucard's cock, thumb sliding over Alucard's frenulum, and leans their foreheads together.] I want to hear it. I can say please, if need be, since I realise that might be a lot to ask of you right now.
[After everything that happened recently. He's still cautious not to overstep his boundaries.]
[ he says it lightly, borderline merrily, as he gives his cock a slow stroke, intent on urging him to full hardness now that he's started. he's still smiling when he speaks again, though. ]
Maybe don't tell anyone else that being intimate with them is something you see as a personal failing though, they won't understand.
[ okay, now he's teasing--but the kiss isn't, the kiss is earnest in a way he so rarely is, and he looks at him quietly a moment as he opens his eyes again, as he speaks.
he's about to start a reply when he's distracted and hisses out another low moan, licking his lips and swallowing before he answers. ] I should think you already knew the depths of my capacity for devotion. [ he closes his eyes, exhaling a needless breath, and leans into him. ]
You don't have to say please. You don't have to ask at all--it's. There's only one other person I wouldn't have killed for doing that to me, no matter the reason, and you know who it is. You have me.
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when anderson speaks he stills utterly, listening, contemplating how he should respond. anderson offered him many things when he was addled, when he was desperate, and alucard had staid his hand in the face of it, unwilling to breach the uneasy trust they share even in the face of--all of that.
but this is different, isn't it? he's clear of mind, they're here, and he's right--here.
his hands smooth down anderson's sides until they rest at his waist, not careful but fond, and his lips graze skin again, still where it's not been marred in the least. it's lower though, just a little--the scent of blood fills him and he lets out a low whine despite himself, soft and almost keening as he noses against the skin. ]
If--you're sure.
[ he's never been this measured, this well-behaved, this restrained. but his voice is soft, questioning, confirming. just in case he needs to clear his mind a little before. perhaps he's being too cautious, but he likes what they have in quiet moments too much to give it up now. ]
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He has to pause at Alucard's whine. So wanting, yet he holds himself back to ensure he has Anderson's full consent. It prompts a swell of affection, surprising in its potency, and he laughs softly at himself, shaking his head. Feeling such things for his nemesis- what an absurdity, but he doesn't try to fight it back.
As Anderson speaks, his thumb brushes over Alucard's knuckles, affectionate. His voice is still hoarse, but moderately less so now that he's recovered some control over his laboured breathing.]
Call me a fool, but I want you to. [He swallows, licks his lips.] Just mind the teeth.
[They're not quite at the point of biting, yet. But this is still a significant submission, for a man like Anderson. To voluntarily feed a vampire opposes everything he is, everything he's been taught. It's printed on every cell- but Alucard's overlapping that with something else; he's not quite sure what, and despite having every reason not to be, he's willing.]
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the laugh surprises him, but perhaps it shouldn't: it's just as absurd for him to be so held back, to carefully navigate this mine field in order to get permission where if they were fighting he could just rip out his throat with no remorse. things are... different like this, here in this place, and there's really no turning away from that.
at the comment, he smiles. ]
You're a fool, Alexander Anderson.
[ but there's a fondness here too, an idle sort of tease, like he's poking fun that anderson said it at all--they both know they're both fools for acting like this. and so: ]
So am I.
[ he doesn't bite. his teeth don't clip, or scrape, but he mouths over where blood has spilled, smearing it messily before his tongue darts out to lap it up between his shoulder blades. it burns and he lets out a rough groan against the skin, eager for both the taste and the pain as his grip at the priest's waist tightens somewhat.
he's waited so long, wanting, aching, that surely it can't be held against him that a little shudder wracks him as he runs his tongue slowly across each of the places he'd marked so briefly, like he can trace the marks that are no longer there. ]
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His breaths go stuttering out when Alucard's lips slide over the spill of his blood, and the introduction of Alucard's cool, slick tongue elicits an even strong reaction, prompts him to shiver and hunch over, the muscles shifting in his back. The welts are long gone now, but there's still a lingering heat, a whisper of what was once there. His body remembers even if his flesh appears unmarred.
He can feel his blood burning and bubbling in Alucard's mouth. There would probably be steam rising up from heat-reddened skin if he turned to look. But Alucard's little groans and shudder clearly indicates that he's enjoying this feature of his blood. He's not surprised; it's exactly what he expected. Alucard's ever the masochist.
The fact this isn't a normal position for them to take doesn't escape Andeson's notice. When they're intimate, he's always facing Alucard, always able to touch as he pleases and kiss where he wants and take control, but he can't do that, right now, and there's a certain vulnerability to it. A vulnerability he doesn't mind, because he knows Alucard won't abuse it.
The hand he has curled over Alucard's guides it further around, over his hip and toward his abdomen. An encouragement for further contact, since that's what he can manage.]
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it burns when he swallows too, scalding his throat all the way down, and he revels in that too. it would heal instantly, of course, if he wasn't still so busily lapping up whatever blood he can get to. so the pain lingers, which he likes well enough, and when anderson guides his hand he allows it, hand pressing flat to his stomach and fingers spreading as the pads of them press down. hungry for blood as ever, but doubly so hungry for touch: his arm shifts of its own accord then as he urges his body close, arm fully coiling around him as he hunches forward to clean off more of his skin.
he's well aware of their positioning, and has no intention of abuse, no. all he intends is closeness, and want, and to make this moment linger as long as he can make it. he's also cognizant that he's still fully clothed, which is less of a hindrance than one would expect, but really it just means he's sort of thinking about that in context with their situation.
only when he's cleaned off every bit of skin he can easily reach like this does he straighten, mouthing once again over his nape as his tongue and mouth and throat heal over--there's a scrape of teeth but it promises affection, not a bite. ]
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He encourages Alucard's hand further up when it coils around him, drawing it over his abdominal muscles and across the slope of his pectorals, close enough to his mouth so he can brush his lips over the pads of Alucard's fingers. He applies a light bite to them- and a much harder one when Alucard mouths over the nape of his neck, teeth scraping. It's not meant as a deterrent; it's simply in response to a shock of arousal, and he soothes his tongue over the bite marks after as way of reassuring him he didn't do anything Anderson didn't want. Quite the opposite, as evidenced by the swelling of his cock.
His free hand reaches behind and coils into whatever he can grab hold of, whatever clothes he can twist about his fingers, and he uses that grip to draw Alucard that little bit closer, close any remaining space between them. It would be nice if he could feel Alucard's skin, but he's not going to complain; he's enjoying the slide of his tongue and graze of his teeth well enough. He's dazed and shivering under just that.
The only sound between them is that produced by their contact between their bodies and Anderson's heavy breaths. Which are pleasant sounds, but Anderson decides to interrupt with a murmur:]
'Spose this means my reparations were successful.
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the touch of lips to his fingers, the bites after--he shivers slightly, and by the time anderson pulls him in there's no space left to close: he's pressed flush against his back, urged as close as he possibly can, one hand lifting to coil fingers in his hair and tips his head aside so that he can press his lips to the side of his neck, beneath his ear, teeth barely catching his earlobe before he sucks with purpose at his pulse point, for a mark that will never linger but be satisfying nonetheless.
when anderson speaks he chuckles, dropping his chin to his shoulder and letting out a low hum. ]
I'd say so, yes.
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When Alucard's chin drops to his shoulder, he twists himself as best he can without dislodging their position and leans his face into him.]
Good.
[He folds his arm over the one draped about his midsection, keeping it in place. There's an extended silence before he speaks again.]
I wouldn't be opposed to doing it again. I probably should.
[He still has that damn rib.]
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a pity.
when anderson's face comes closer he grins, nipping idly at his jaw before brushing his lips across the same spot.
he's quietly surprised when anderson expresses an interest in doing it again, and his fingers grip a little more tightly to his hair before relenting.
when he speaks, it's a low rumble. ]
You know where to find me.
[ a joke, since they live together now. on top of that, he's fully aware that anderson still has the rib. he's aware of where all his body parts are at any given time. ]
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Provided Alucard doesn't ask for it back. But he hasn't yet, so prospects are looking promising.
He hums in appreciation when Alucard touches teeth and lips to his jaw, and he maintains the sound through the grip in his hair.]
Unfortunately.
[It's mildly said. A joke of his own, since they've reached a point where such comments are appropriate.
He turns a little more, managing an awkward, sloppy kiss, but it's the thought that counts.]
We're going to need to discuss some of those terms and conditions I put into place, at some point. Perhaps not now, but...
[Right now, they're a little otherwise occupied. Though some of those things really should be discussed.]
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but he's not going to ask for it. he wants an offer, and maybe that part is selfish.
he snorts at the joke, but doesn't seem put out by it--and he leans into the kiss a bit, not minding that it's sloppy at all, and presses closer against his back.
he shifts, but just enough to urge him to turn around so that alucard can press against his chest instead, voice a low and content rumble, practically a purr when he speaks. ]
Soon. Unless you'd like to interrupt current activities.
[ he dips his head, dragging his lips across anderson's collarbone pointedly. ]
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One of his hands drifts up into Alucard's hair, encouraging him to maintain the current path of his mouth, while the other slides down between them to graze along the lower regions on Alucard's navel.]
Need I tell you?
[There's more certainty to his touch. He's gone a little further with someone recently, traversed some foreign ground, so he's overcome a few of his reservations about intimacy.]
I was intimate with a woman recently. [That's an odd thing to announce, but it does have a purpose.] By which I mean, I'm- better prepared, to go further, if you're not opposed. If this is the time for it. I don't mind postponing if it isn't. Not out of any desire to, but all things considered-
[Every added word just made that worse, didn't it. He's glad Alucard currently can't see the pained expression on his face.
A pause, and he adds:]
I didn't break the terms of our contract.
[Just to be clear.]
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he does pause when anderson continues and he can't help the white-hot surge of jealousy that skitters through him: he never can, no matter how small the intimacy, because he's selfish, and covetous, and wants it all for himself. but he's--still going, and alucard gets the point, and he'd probably have an ill-advised laugh at his expression if he wasn't too busy running his tongue slowly along his skin.
the last comment just confirms that he doesn't need to be angry, anyway, or at least not openly incensed. he finally lifts his head and instead of answering at first he kisses him: hard, hungry, wanting. he presses into it fervently a moment before drawing back, looking at him with lids lowered somewhat. ]
In retrospect, a bit of a cruel stipulation to have added, but if you get to be selfish then so do I. [ a wry smile. ] That said, I've been more than ready for any amount of going further that you're prepared for since you beheaded me the first time.
[ yeah he's been horny on main for you for like 30 years dude let's not play. ]
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Why does it have to be you is still a lingering sentiment, but it's not as strong a sentiment as it once was, and there's an accompanying one of I want it to be you. A rather complicated co-existence, but that's their relationship on the whole.
He licks Alucard's lips as he withdraws, taking a much needed breath as Alucard speaks. And my, that's- quite the confession, yet not unexpected at all.]
So you've been wanting to commit desecration of a priest since the day we met. [He snorts, biting Alucard's bottom lip briefly, as though to chasten him.] You're a dreadful man.
[Evidently that's not of great concern to Anderson, since his other hand joins the one at Alucard's navel and pops the button of his trousers so he can reach beneath. He inhales sharply at the touch of skin. It's not quite what he was anticipating.]
And still no underwear. Dreadful.
[Not sincere in the least, judging by the downward trajectory of his fingers.]
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it's funny: being that he's desired this for so long already, had desires, wants, he's far less conflicted about it. he is surprised that anything like this has even remotely come to pass, but he's not about to question or complain about it in the least. for once in his damned existence, he's getting what he wants, even if it's any sort of intimacy with a priest who's vowed to kill him.
his lips part slightly when his lips are licked but then he's speaking so the moment is lost--until anderson replies and he huffs out a laugh, pressing into the bite with a merry expression. ] I like to aim high, reach for the impossible.
[ he says it like he's being sly, but really, that's true: anderson was always untouchable, and integra still is. his two great obsessions.
his head tips down to watch what those hands are doing and he exhales needlessly as soon as his fingers find skin, and he bites the inside of his cheek when they delve lower. ]
What can I say? I'm easy. I started wearing some when I was anticipating being close to you, just in case, but we'll just say I didn't exactly anticipate that today.
[ god, it's parsed as a joke, but it's true. he is easy. however, realistically anderson is the only person he's outright pursued for this long, and certainly the only person he's been this patient for. even rip had let him sleep with her on his first day in the city, terrified of him as she was.
this slow burn is somehow that much more satisfying than her instantly rolling over for him, and he's unfamiliar with that feeling--but he likes it. ]
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He has to snort at Alucard's comment. He's not exactly well-informed of Alucard's sex life (though now that they're sharing a residence, he may end up with more insight than he wants), but he's gathered from the stray comment that he's a predictably indulgent man. That's to be expected when you're over five hundred years old and starved for affection.]
The one time it's convenient for me.
I still- don't exactly know what I'm doing, just so you're aware, but I imagine the basic principles of touching a man and woman are similar.
[Okay, he's not entirely prepared, here, but what's important is he's overcome the hardest part: getting started.
His reach slows the closer he gets to Alucard's cock. Tentative, now, but steadfast. He pushes the trousers further out of the way, then carefully coils his fingers around the thick of Alucard's cock, glancing up to Alucard to make sure his progress is appreciated, isn't uncomfortable.
It's a little strange, the sensation of holding another man's arousal, particularly one so cool; it's not something he ever imagined he would be doing, but this contact alone manages to get him hot and bothered, so clearly this is going to be an agreeable experience.]
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[ he'll do his best to be discreet, but--there's no promises to be had there, though perhaps predictably he often finds himself elsewhere when he's having liasions. while it is predictable, it is understandable: he soaks in attention and affection now, here, in the one place and the one way he can get it.
anderson is making explanations again and he almost sighs but just snorts fondly instead, nodding. ]
The fundamentals are the same, yes. Just pay attention to reactions and find what feels good.
[ he doesn't quite make a sound, not yet, but when anderson's fingers curl around his cock he noses into the side of his neck to hide his face, not from any kind of embarrassment but simply because he wants to mouth at his pulse point again, to mumble encouragingly against the skin. it's not even that he's exceptionally easy to please, more that he's easygoing sexually and--well, this is something he's wanted for a long time.
when he murmurs, it's low, just against his ear. ]
I used to think about this sometimes. With you. If I felt particularly indulgent that day.
[ he's not crystal clear on when, at least: before, at home, or here? it doesn't matter. ]
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Anderson's odd preferences aside, the presence of Alucard's mouth at his pulse-point and ear elicit an enthusiastic rumble.]
You thought about my hand in your trousers during our encounters?
[That's... fine. It's currently in his trousers, so he can't be that indignant about it, really.
Anyway: he responds to Alucard's encouragement with a slow stroke of his cock, more for exploratory purposes than pleasure, and drags his thumb over the rise of a vein, turning his head enough to observe Alucard's reaction. The man is a masochist and perhaps wouldn't be opposed to a little roughness, a little pain, but that's not what Anderson's seeking to inflict right now.]
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he smiles, wry, at the comment-- ]
I've thought of plenty of things, but I'm saving those for later.
[ he's starting to feel really overdressed, honestly, and his hands press to anderson's abdomen, fingertips pressing down, as he just barely runs his teeth over the beat of his pulse, pricking but not catching or biting. careful, for lack of a better term.
even that slow stroke, the idle swipe of his thumb, drags a low sound from him, a rumble of pleasure he lets out against his skin, half-muffled but still audible. while it's true he wouldn't mind pain, he's growing to like the gentle moments as well. the ones like this, easy and exploring. with someone else he might make a chiding remark about not being breakable, but this is--nice, in its own way. ]
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[He's joking, mostly; it probably won't take another three. He's getting more comfortable with intimacy. It might be another month or two for- well, he's not sure, since he hasn't really thought about what comes after reciprocation of this kind, but he's loosening up as time moves on. It's hard to do with his vows, with his obligations to God, but he has to cede a little here and there simply to live in this place.
He hums appreciatively as Alucard applies some gentle touches.]
You know, this feels like an abject failure of my mission. [He strokes again, a little quicker this time, sliding his fingers over the leathery head of Alucard's cock to see how he'll respond to some light pressure there.] Well, I think that every time something of this nature happens, but it's always more prominent with you. For obvious reasons.
[Licking his lips, he leans his face into Alucard's shoulder, head tilted just enough to continue observing Alucard's reactions.]
It would probably be beneficial if I started thinking less. Very hard to do, though.
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[ he's joking a little too, since really now that they've started doing anything at all their progress is slow, but relatively steady. with some bumps in the road like beheading and kidnap, but, well, it happens. it's true enough he's able to be patient, though in most cases he doesn't like it.
this is just prolonging the duration of dealings between them, and that's fine.
his nails scrape lazily along anderson's stomach, eyes lidded, but the continued attention and the escalation of it is enough to distract him and he lets out a quiet groan, tongue pressing hard to the same spot below his ear so he can focus on that, on his heartbeat, keep himself measured. ]
Naturally.
[ murmured, about what he says. he's not surprised in the least. ] It makes sense, and shameless as I am, I'm not sure what to suggest that might aid in lessening that. I'd say continued instances of intimacy, but that's both selfish and obvious.
[ with a little lazy grin. his hand glides up now, fingertips gliding over his pec, his collarbone, his throat. ]
Though it is of note that your only choice in the matter is who you do things with. Because if you don't at all, they'll--make you.
[ with a grimace. it's not a nice subject, but-- ]
Less a failure than making sure things don't get even worse.
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The groan Alucard breathes into his ear makes Anderson swallow, makes his pulse pick up speed and his own cock swell in his trousers, so it really only helps keep one of them measured. Definitely part of the reason he keeps on coming back: things like that, reactions he wants to witness again and again. Greedily, selfishly, despite knowing better.
The glide of Alucard's fingers makes his breaths come fast and unsteady. It takes him a moment to find the will to speak again.]
After the... centre, I'm well aware of that, but they aren't making me do this; be intimate with you, of all people, hence the feeling of failure being particularly prominent. I had a choice, and I chose this.
[You, but he doesn't say that.
Two strokes this time, from top to bottom, tightening his grip each time he reaches the tip, since he's aware that area is particularly sensitive. He probably should have applied lubrication of some kind to enhance pleasure, but he doesn't exactly keep that sort of thing on hand.]
You're ruining a perfectly good priest without their help.
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he's leaning into anderson heavily, for a time selfishly concentrating only on anderson's touch, but when he can hear the way his pulse quickens a lazy smile spreads and he slips both hands down now, to work at the priest's belt, deftly undo his trousers, and slip a hand inside. it's easy, and practiced, but he does little other than curl fingers around the base of his cock for now, testing his reactions.
it's not teasing, or goading, and he does listen to what anderson has to say, licking his lips before he nods minutely. he knows. ]
I know. We're tied together though, us. I don't think there's any escape for either of us even if we wanted it.
[ his voice is low and this time his thoughts are interrupted with a breathy moan.
then his newly-freed hand lifts and he grips anderson's chin, kissing him slowly, languidly, but no less wanting. there's absolutely no tease in it: it's practically fervent in its intensity. when he pulls back he looks at him, eyes dark. ]
I did tell you I've wanted you since we met. You're mine, and I'm not going to apologize for that.
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Trying to get me to stop talking, Alucard?
[He's not actually sure. But he laughs all the same, which ends abruptly as Alucard presses a kiss to his mouth. He's quick to press back, a ragged groan slipping past his lips and into Alucard's; no teeth this time, since it's something soft and languid. Just a wanting, mutual press until Alucard draws back, at which point Anderson realises he'd closed his eyes and peels them back open.
He likes what Alucard says far too much. But-]
If you're going to say that, it should be followed by 'and I'm yours'. [He draws his hand up Alucard's cock, thumb sliding over Alucard's frenulum, and leans their foreheads together.] I want to hear it. I can say please, if need be, since I realise that might be a lot to ask of you right now.
[After everything that happened recently. He's still cautious not to overstep his boundaries.]
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[ he says it lightly, borderline merrily, as he gives his cock a slow stroke, intent on urging him to full hardness now that he's started. he's still smiling when he speaks again, though. ]
Maybe don't tell anyone else that being intimate with them is something you see as a personal failing though, they won't understand.
[ okay, now he's teasing--but the kiss isn't, the kiss is earnest in a way he so rarely is, and he looks at him quietly a moment as he opens his eyes again, as he speaks.
he's about to start a reply when he's distracted and hisses out another low moan, licking his lips and swallowing before he answers. ] I should think you already knew the depths of my capacity for devotion. [ he closes his eyes, exhaling a needless breath, and leans into him. ]
You don't have to say please. You don't have to ask at all--it's. There's only one other person I wouldn't have killed for doing that to me, no matter the reason, and you know who it is. You have me.
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