[He nods slowly to Alucard's words, his chin brushing his knees. He's at perhaps his lowest point, but he won't abandon his beliefs. In the end, it's his own failings that led to his defeat, to his losses, not God's; he's simply... struggling, right now, to feel the presence of God with him, and it's hard for a man who has felt it so strongly throughout his life.]

No, I... I won't run. It's not His failings that brought me here- it's mine, and as alone and empty as I feel, I can't blame Him for them. Draining myself dry in His name would mean even less, if I ran now.

[He runs his fingers under his glasses, startling at finding moisture there. It's been a long time since he's cried, really cried, rather than simply becoming misty-eyed, or shedding tears in a moment of profound pleasure. The tears that do come are gentle, absent of any trembling or a tightening throat.

Slipping the glasses off, he catches the tears on a palm.]

I'll press on. I'll find a way to.

[He always does, even under the worst of circumstances.]